Our Name


oski-pimohtahtamwak otayisīniwiwaw (Nehiyawak)
oski pima ci-owat ici ki-kay-dam-o-win-ing (Nakawē)
wana oicimani tecawosdodyē uncumpi (Dakota)
they are into their new journey to knowledge (English)





Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Worth It

By Glen Asham

 

On November 7th we attended a Sacred Water Pipe Ceremony at the File Hills Qu’Appelle Tribal Council Governance Centre in Fort Qu'Appelle.
 

 
The walk there was cold but worth it in the end.


 
 
The group of people that ran it was nice.
 
 
The Pipe ceremony was pretty cool. I appreciated them inviting us to attend.
Note. This picture was taken before the Pipe Ceremony began out of respect for the ceremony.
 
 
Then we got soup and bannock. It was lit.
 
 
 

The poem that was made from my heart and that will bring a tear to your eye because it’s the truth


by Michael Starr-Desnomie

When I was going to class to see what my teacher had planned I was walking to the junior computer lab. Mrs. Koops introduced me to a teacher who I had never met before in the school. Her name was Ms. Thomson (without a p). She looked new, but everyone is welcomed to Bert Fox.

I shook her hand and smiled, talked about our class and how I’m showing leadership, but mostly Mrs. Koops was saying great stuff about me that made me happy to hear. My teacher brought up my poem that I made on Orange Shirt Day and how it went when I was reading my poem. I choked up but stood my ground and Mrs. Koops tried to come take over for me, but it was my poem and I was going to read it all because it had my name on top so I said to my teacher, I’m reading all of it, but when I teared up at some points, she tried to come take over, but I just needed a second to try calm down and breath then I finished reading it all.

Before Ms. Thomson read my poem she asked me what my poem was called. I said, “Doing the Blanket Exercise on the Land Where All My People Lived.” When she was done reading it I looked at her and I could see her in tears, seeing tears that were rolling down her face. She said it’s beautiful and so true. I told her I didn’t use my mind, I wrote that from heart. She told me you do have a big heart. She was still tearing up so I hugged her, rubbed her back and comforted her, then after I was done hugging her she held my hand and told me, you are so gifted and explained to me that her mom went through the same thing, she went through residential schools but her mom never talks about it.
 
 
 

 
I kept on seeing tears rolling down her face. I wanted to give her a hug to make her feel much better. She said the nicest things to me that I will never forget. I will use those kind words that she said to me in my future and as a leader. I explained to her how I felt and what I thought about when I first did the blanket exercise. I explained to her that we all should be treated equally; we are all the same. It doesn’t matter about your color or what tribe you’re from, even how your culture is, we are all the same on the inside. We all bleed the same color, have the same feelings, we are all the same but we live differently. I give every single person Much Love & Respect. We are all family in my eyes. I’m always here for my family when they’re down so I can help them back up on their feet.

I told Ms. Thomson what my mom always said to me, become a leader not a follower or my little saying, throw me to the wolves and I will return the pack leader. It was amazing hearing all of my teachers say wonderful things about me, always making me smile and happy about myself, making me stay positive. When we were talking about what they think about my poem and I told Ms. Thomson that I went to the Saskatchewan School Board Association to read my poem that went viral across the world that I’m very proud of.
Miss Bev, Michael, Mrs. Koops and Ms. Thomson

One of my favorite teachers came by, Miss Bev. I gave her a hug as well. She’s the teacher that always gave me fudge when I went to all of my classes, and if I was good, but sometimes she forgot to make some for me, when I kept on going to class and being good, but I said to her I think I’m too sweet already, then Miss Bev smiled and gave me a hug and told me I am sweet. All of those teachers that I was talking to – Ms. Thomson, Miss Bev, Mrs. Koops -- made my day and I just felt great all day, well I always do. All of the teachers in Bert Fox are very proud of me and they supported me all the way. With their support they made me who I am and my mom as well, always believed in me and always there for me, to pick me back up, that’s what mother bears do, keep their cubs safe and believe in what they can become, a big strong leader. I’m very proud of myself on becoming a great leader, a voice for my people.

Monday, December 18, 2017

A Real Nice Talking Circle

by Kaleya McNab
 


This is the day when my classmates and I went to Mr. Mohan’s Native Studies 10 class to do the Kairos Blanket Exercise. His class was very good and listened. They all participated in the KBE, but some of them were shy to read their scrolls, but they still read. I was even shy to read the European parts, even though I did the KBE a bunch of times. I can get shy to read because I don’t want to misread the script or the scrolls. The KBE has a lot of information about the 60’s scoop and residential schools and also talks about how the Europeans brought diseases and smallpox that killed thousands of people and how the Europeans took over land. It is kind of harsh to read the European parts. We even have some people cry while trying to read their scrolls because of how harsh it is. When I first did the KBE I was the narrator with one of my classmates a couple times then I started doing the European parts. We all take turns doing the KBE. After the end of KBE we do a talking circle; we can say whatever comes to our minds; it can be anything, then after we are done doing a talking circle we all shake hands and we say thank you for inviting us and having us.

Friday, December 8, 2017

He's What You Call a Modern Day Hero


by Taish Desnomie

 
Mr. O'Soup and I talking about bullying issues.
 
He's what you call a modern day hero, a role model. He's probably my top role model over Rambo any day. He taught me a lot today. This I didn't know, he came from nothing, to being every kids' hero. We need more people like him. He taught me to follow my dreams, never give up, and to look forward.

Meeting Corey O'Soup, Saskatchewan's Advocate for Children and Youth, was a great experience because we are both in the same work. It gave me a lot of ideas. It gave me hope just to know that there is always a way to get past some of the problems in life.

A few weeks back, I wrote a letter with my classmates to Fort Qu'Appelle Elementary Community School and my class and I delivered it directly to the principal. We showed Ms. Young-Lee, our principal, the letter before we took it over. She had some suggestions and we made edits. Here's what the beginning of the letter said:

"We, the class of oski-pimohtahtamwak otayisīniwiwaw, have been invited to present workshops throughout southern Saskatchewan, most often sharing the Kairos Blanket Exercise. We are developing our leadership potential and our response skills. Because we have lived through many difficult situations ourselves, we want to support students who are dealing with difficult life situations including bullying, racism, suicide, and poverty."

We met with three more people from the elementary school to make some plans, Mrs. Lowe, Miss Tami, and Mrs. Brooks (the new principal). We went for lunch a few times, played some soccer once, and Michael attended one after school program so far. We also prepared a PowerPoint to tell people who we are, and so far we've gone to over half of the classrooms. Every classroom visit takes about twenty minutes because we are talking and the kids are asking questions.

Going to the elementary school is pretty fun; you get to meet some of the new generation of kids. When you're really sitting there talking to them, they really have a chance to open up with their feelings and laugh. It's really cool. You don't get to see that every day. I think it's really great that they all get a chance to look up to older kids and have a voice.

 
Introducing ourselves in an elementary classroom


Meeting Corey was a great experience for me and my classmates. It was really great because he gave me and my classmates lots of insight on what the world is really like today, about youth and women, and people going missing. He really opened up our eyes. He showed us that we could change our own communities and others around us. This kind of work that I'm doing right now, I'm really committed to doing this -- and without my classmates, I wouldn't be doing any of this, and I wouldn't have the help. My respect and everything I do all goes to them because they're my backbone.

 
Being goofy

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Saskatchewan's Advocate for Children and Youth Visits oski-pimohtahtamwak otayisīniwiwaw


 
Kaleya McNabb, Lacey Missens, Taish Desnomie, Mr. Corey O'Soup, Malynda Starr-Desnomie, Ms. Tami Janz-Sargees
 
Raimey Pasqua and Michael Starr-Desnomie
 
Mrs. Koops: What was most memorable about meeting Mr. O’Soup?

Michael: He brought some awesome cinnamon rolls. While I was listening to him and taking pictures, he gave me a couple of ideas that I want to do next with this little program. Try to join him as well, try to help kids feel more safe and more welcome. All kids need to go home safely, and they all need to be treated the same as they would be treated by family, loving one another, respecting one another, always being there for them. Bullying is not the way. When people are bullied it pushes them to the limits, even being suicidal. Even the book that he gave us has lots of information about we could do, what we could take action for. I like what he said, we could help him with this work. People will listen to younger people, we’re getting out there in the world. We need to let everybody know about this.
Michael enjoying the best cinnamon rolls ever.

Malynda: He shared with us that when an older person speaks, you hear what they say, but when a younger person speaks, we reflect on it more because we know what they mean. When you get someone your own age, you know they’ll understand. The older generation doesn’t really have the same problems as us.

Mr. O'Soup speaking to us in the classroom.
 
Taish: I think that each kid, each youth, teenager, pre-teen, kindergartener, should just get a piece of paper and write down what they’re feeling, where they are in their lives, where they are coming from, to reach out and talk to somebody, could be anybody, somebody close, mom, dad, teacher, or a friend, and try and find that help to overcome their fears of whatever’s bothering them, to find that courage inside of themselves to know that they’re not alone.
Taish exchanging ideas with Mr. O'Soup.

Mrs. Koops: What was inspiring about our meeting with Mr. O’Soup?

Michael: Everything. Everything that he said. As young leaders like us, we could do something about it because we’re family.

Discussions after we'd finished lunch.
 
Malynda: The whole time he was talking I was inspired and moved by what he was saying. That guy’s going to do some awesome things.

Malynda listening to every word.
 
Mrs. Koops: What are you taking away in your heart, as a youth, after the meeting?

Malynda: When he was talking about social work, I really want to go into social work after high school, he’s trying so hard to make the whole system better and not so twisted as it is right now. With him having the platform that he has, he can really make change in those areas so that makes me feel better and more confident in wanting to pursue Social Work.

Mr. O'Soup sharing his story with us in the classroom.
 
Mrs. Koops: What does it mean to you that he is the first Indigenous Child Advocate in Saskatchewan?

Malynda: Hearing his life story. How humble he is, and just overall how great of a human being he is, making history. I feel so much more uplifted as an Aboriginal person because I see what he’s trying so hard to do. I’m really excited to see where he’ll take us and all the positive affects he’ll have on this province and country. We shouldn’t be restricted that we can only get a certain level of job. He is raising the bar for us, like, we can do it.
Mr. O'Soup gave us all copies of the newly released
Shhh... LISTEN!! We have something to say! Youth Voices from the North
 
Taish said, "Will you sign mine."
 
Everyone else said, "I want mine signed, too."
 
Mr. O'Soup wrote, "Michael, where's my poem?"
Michael ran home and brought back a copy of his poem and gave it to Mr. O'Soup.
 
 
 

 

Thursday, November 30, 2017

On Becoming Powerful Speakers

On Becoming Powerful Speakers
by Calen Whiteman



The first day of class I said to Mrs. Koops, “I’m going to be the narrator.” I was talking about the Kairos Blanket Exercise and told her how I was interested in being a leader for other schools and teaching them how this Blanket Exercise works and what it’s about. I told Mrs. Koops that I could be the narrator because I thought I could take this challenge. I could read it; I could nail it. Nobody else spoke up right away, so I decided I would because I’m not shy in front of crowds. I knew the name of the Kairos Blanket Exercise, but I didn’t know what it was about or what it said. My new leadership depended on me understanding my own history, taking some risks, building relationships, and being generous.

My first day back we had a talking circle as a class and Mrs. Koops explained to us how the KBE worked and we had a practice. It meant a lot to me because it was about my culture and how things have been happening so long ago to Indigenous peoples, how our land was being taken from us by the Europeans, the land being bought and sold, over 1000 Indigenous woman going missing and today the number is much higher (Kairos Canada, 2015). It speaks to me because I have had ancestors who have been through these things. My grandpa was a survivor at the Residential School in Lebret. I was told some crazy, scary stories about him being in there. I would explain more but they aren’t my stories to hand out and I don’t like speaking about them to others. I have had more family going through this, but I’ve never heard their stories. It’s important for Canadians to hear about this story; they’re not going to hear enough about it on the news, on YouTube; that’s why I want to take part in being a narrator. It’s a big risk but it’s worth it because it’s a topic that gets dropped. Residential School was a big thing. The apology is not enough. First Nations are still living on poor reserves.
My first time I taught students from the University of Regina they were in their 3rd and 4th year in becoming a teacher. We were at the Treaty 4 Gathering. At first I was nervous, but then I pulled it together and realized that no one is going to learn if they’re not being taught. At the end of our first session at Treaty 4 grounds we all sat in a circle and had everyone say something about their experience doing the KBE; a lot of their responses had me shocked because some of them didn’t know about the land that has been taken from Indigenous peoples or the diseases that were brought over to the northern part of Turtle Island. They didn’t know how residential schools affected them and what has happen to people that were in those schools. It’s a heartbreaking subject for me. Most of these U of R students were woman and the part in the exercise on Indigenous woman going missing had some of them looking shocked.
My second time leading the KBE as the narrator and I think I did a good job. They were younger kids, grade 5 and 6. There were about 3 kids that I helped read their scripts and it was great because I was working on my relationship skills while doing this with the little kids. Teaching them at a young age is good to me because they could tell others about it and we can teach more people. It’s an interesting topic when you take the time to realize what happened to Indigenous peoples and how the Europeans broke their promises and Treaties (Kairos Canada, 2015).
Since then, I’ve had opportunity to build relationships with Sacred Heart High School’s teachers, Notre Dame students and teachers, and some other schools that came to the Treaty 4 grounds and participated. It helped me get my voice and to not be shy. It teaches me how to be a leader for others and show them the exercise. One more thing that catches my attention is that we get to teach it to anyone who invites us and wants us to. I’m willing to go around and do this with other schools and possibly bigger places and towns. This is important to me because it is part of my shared history; this happened to my kin. I’ve had family go through it, my grandpa, my kokum, some aunties and uncles were a couple years short of going to residential school before it got shut down. Even thinking of the fact that they could have been in there still hurts me. I want people to know what happened because to some of us it’s really emotional because we had family go through it and we hear about the things that happened to them. I want to bring it up because it’s something people shouldn’t forget about. It feels like people have forgotten because it’s not a big topic anymore. For me it is a big topic because it still impacts me.

I want to make my voice, everybody’s voice, the voices that have been forgotten, the voices that have been through those struggles that have never been heard, I want them all remembered. Especially for the lives and the voices of my ancestors who had to live the hard way when I have it easy in a way. I don’t have to go to Residential Schools. I’m not taken away from my family. I’m not forced out of my culture, to not be traditional. I can live a free and happy life, but why couldn’t they? I want this exercise to help everyone understand that my people have been suffering from these things and till this day still are; it was a dark time back in the day for Indigenous people and it’s a dark subject for the heirs of the family’s and kids that participated in this awful time. So my job in this Kairos Blanket Exercise is to get the message out to everyone that I can be of service to with my class and teacher. I’m hoping I and my friends can get more and more invites from other schools to come show them how the KBE works. We have done it 14 times now and by the time this school year is over I think that we can get at least 40 or more opportunities as we are still working and building on becoming powerful speakers.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

My Buddy Taish is Somebody to Go To

by Austin (Boss) Elliott

We are going to the elementary school tomorrow to introduce ourselves, creating what we’re calling Oski-Generation. Hopefully what we do in the elementary school goes as planned, and I hope that everybody participates in what we’re doing as a class.

My buddy Taish is second-guessing himself about it because nobody was paying attention (when we were planning). He wants this to work for the benefit of our class. If this goes as planned then we’ll achieve something from this, either if it’s happiness or being a good leader to our young youth.

If we can be good leaders the youth will learn how to be respectful and encourage others, and to treat people how they would want to be treated. It’s always good to show our youth that anything can happen when they show respect; it will take them places.

As a fellow friend of Taish Desnomie, he inspired me to eat right and workout. He is a great leader to look up to. He shows care to people who are in need, and he never gives up on you. If there is a problem, my buddy Taish is somebody to go to.
 
 

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Kaleya's Visual Verbal Essay


by Kaleya McNabb

When we read Only Drunks and Children Tell the Truth by Drew Hayden Taylor I read the part of Barb. Barb is funny, caring, rude, smart, and loyal. Her role in the play was the bigger sister, the adult, who made the choices for the family when her mother passed away. Although Barb and Grace’s relationship was rough in the beginning, by the end of the play she forgave her sister, Grace (technically Janice, the name given to her by her adopted family, but Barb called her Grace).

I drew five pictures: red and black block letters spelling BARB, a gravestone with “RIP Anne”, a bottle of white wine, a cup of coffee, and a daisy. I chose BARB because she is like me. The colour red symbolizes love and the red road; black symbolizes Barb’s power and solidness, but it’s also a colour people wear to funerals. The gravestone symbolizes the loss of Barb and Grace’s mother, but also the broken family. The “white” wine is important because Grace didn’t like Barb’s beer, but preferred the “white” wine. Barb laughed when Grace said she only drank white wine because white symbolizes Grace’s adopted family. The cup of coffee symbolizes Barb’s family because they all drink “real” coffee, but Grace drinks decaffeinated coffee. This shows another way that Grace is different.   At the end of the play, Grace finally has the courage to go to her mother’s grave to say goodbye to her. Grace says, “Co-waabmen, Mom, you’re your daughter, Grace.” Co-waabmen means “I’ll be seeing you” in Annishnawbe. At the end of the play Grace finds a growing daisy; she picks it and puts it on the gravestone. This shows that Grace still cares for her mom.
 
 

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Getting Over Feeling Shy at the Canadian Symposium

by Lacey Missens

We went to a Canadian Symposium in Milestone, which is about half an hour away from Regina, so it took us an hour and a half to get there from Fort Qu'Appelle.

When we got to the school in Milestone, I was a bit nervous walking in. We went to Mrs. Stone's class and got settled in and then went to the library for a presentation from the Cherian's who were immigrants from India.




After that, we had lunch and we went back into the library.

Mrs. Stone told everyone to find partners. Mostly all were strangers to each other. I was scared and shy to choose partners, and at first I didn't even want to talk to anyone. Mrs. Koops ended up finding us partners. I saw Michael and Raven going into different groups and I was thinking to myself, I should too. She set me up with a guy named Tiesen and another guy named Adam who talked kind of low. Tiesen had a good personality and he knew what he was talking about; after, when they were done, I talked about my visual verbal essay. I read my essay because I didn't know what else to talk about. I was nervous the whole time. Austin (Boss) was sitting beside me, listening, so it wasn't all that scary, but it was awkward. We didn't know what to talk about after that. We finished early and went to go do our Blanket Exercise in the gym.

 
 
 
 



Friday, November 3, 2017

A Day in the Gym

by Austin (Boss) Elliott


It was a fun day in the gym class because we shot some hoops, I worked out with Taish, and I can see that every day, he and I are making progress. That's what I like about working with Taish, workout wise, and the rest of the class as well, they do a lot for themselves.

Guest Speaker Dan Bellegarde


by Taish Desnomie



I liked when Mr. Bellegarde was talking about how organized our people were and how organized our communities were back in the day. How we had our own hunting troupes and warrior tribes. He said a lot of great stuff. In his PowerPoint he says, "We organized politically, economically, socially and spiritually to enrich and protect our way of life." It felt like it gave me a lot of power and hope.

The title of his talk was "The Spirit and Intent of Treaty". He addressed topics like Inherent Rights, Treaty Making, A Century of Dishonour, and the Spirit and Intent of Treaty.

I liked how respectful he was of us as young people. I had open ears to what he had to say. It was an honour shaking his hand.





Interview with Ron Crowe: Guest Speaker

by the students of Oski-pimohtahtamwak otayisīniwiwaw




Question: What roles do you play in your community? What are some of your past positions?

Ron Crowe: Land Designation Coordinator for Treaty 4 Trust. My current role is to provide information and public education to Treaty 4 citizens and our neighbours about the properties that we are stewards of in Fort Qu'Appelle. I also work with Leadership Training at JSGS Public Policy School at the University of Regina. Some of the positions I've held are Chair of the Treaty 4 Chiefs Forum; Tribal Chair of the FHQTC; and Chair of the Hospital, now the All Nations Healing Hospital.

Question: What presence do First Nations have in Fort Qu'Appelle?

Ron Crowe: We have a historical relationship with this area by virtue of Treaty and Treaty 4 negotiations. Industry and business has been built because of our population presence in this area. We've taken a larger role in communication and public education by the virtue of the Treaty 4 Gathering, and the attention and prominence that brings ensures our participation in many activities in Fort Qu'Appelle. We are not invisible, not just by seeing us walking down the street, and not just stereotypical activities, but we are involved in all things and all parts of this community.

Question: What message do you want the youth to remember after today's presentation?

Ron Crowe: You make a difference. You will make a difference. You might not think that you have a role in what goes on. When I was in high school, I was fairly invisible, kind of blended in and out. I have since been able to find the ability to speak to people and share a message. I've always taken an interest in what happens in our community. Those kinds of activities will make a difference in your life. When you care about the citizens of your communities, you will make a difference. You might have other passions and interests, and that's fine There is no better feeling than to be able to help your fellow citizens.


Volleyball Afterwards

by Austin (Boss) Elliott

When we got to Milestone, we met people, interesting people from around the world. I was nervous to talk or do anything at Milestone. We sat through presentations and talked with the kids at Milestone. After the presentations were over, we did our Blanket Exercise in the gym. I took pictures because I was scared, still. We sat through the talking circle with people and they gave us some good thoughts. After the talking circle, we all started packing up, getting ready to go. One of the kids at Milestone asked if we could play some volleyball with them. Four of us all decided to play volleyball, me, Lacey, Michael and Taish. Lacey was giving us the points with her good serves. After that, Ms. Koops told us to pack up our stuff and go on the bus, but I said, "One more."

I would go there again and try to talk to the kids there, but until then, we will do our own thing, here, at Bert Fox.

Treaty Walk Through the Eyes of Keheau

by Keheau Ironeagle

 
The flags look nice. They stand for honour and heritage. History and prosperity.
 

The monument looks nice. It was a nice day for a walk.
 
 
The monument looks good. That's a nice view, standing beside the monument.
 
 
The lake looks nice. It makes me feel enlightened looking at the lake.
 
 
I like this monument because it represents the Treaties
and the signing of the Treaties and Native heritage.
 
 
 

 

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Doing the Blanket Exercise at Sacred Heart High School Yorkton by Michael Starr-Desnomie


 
When I arrive at the door of the high school I see a lot of crosses and Jesus pieces. One of the girls says it is a Catholic School. I just take a breather and go inside. The teachers shake our hands and say, “Welcome to Sacred Heart High School”. We are pointed to the gym where we can set up for the blanket exercise. I see blankets and chairs already set up and ready to go. Some people are already in there waiting, but more come and join. I am just ready to read and try to explain to people what happened to First Nations peoples. 

While reading the European script, it gets to me, telling people who don’t know about Indigenous people. It hurts me still, when I read it over and over again. I mess up on saying some words but I re-read them for people to understand better. Some lady says that I am doing great, looking around and going up to people and telling them what Indigenous people couldn’t do, what they wanted to do and went through, what darkest histories that are behind it all. I am telling people what they never knew, what all happened in the residential schools.

When we end the blanket exercise we all sit down in a talking circle, to say what we think, what we feel. I see a lot of impact on people who cried when they saw the child in their arms being taken from them and put into residential schools. Tears are going down the women’s faces and trying to talk about it, I hear a pain inside their voices. Some of them have children and they are probably thinking about what if that happened to their children and they couldn’t do anything about it or the police would come and take them. Hearing and seeing what the teachers have to say in the talking circle, thanking us for coming out and doing the blanket exercise, hearing their comments, always touches my heart, and I’m just wondering how much pain that it brings inside the teachers just thinking about it and talking about it.


When it is my turn to speak I don’t use my mind to speak; I speak from my heart, telling them thank you for your responses, thank you for sharing what you think and that you try and put yourselves in my ancestors’ shoes, like trying to imagine if all that happened to you. I am touched by them, tears rolling down my face, hitting the gym floor, saying thank you to them for letting us do this blanket exercise to share what dark history is behind it all. After my turn is done I go for a little walk and wipe my tears, then I go back into the gym and sit down. When we are done the talking circle we go around the circle shaking everyone’s hand, getting hugs, even being told “You do have a big heart. Keep it up, keep on telling people who never heard about the blanket exercise.”

 
After that they have lunch for us all and we sit down to get to know each other, like asking what we think and telling us how well we are doing. After the veggie, pizza, and various meat wraps we go to a class room and I want to tell people about our program, what we are doing and what it means. Showing them our blog, we tell them how many times we did the blanket exercise showing them pictures of our group. I even want to read my poem to them. Tears fall down some people’s faces, even mine. Re-reading my poem still makes me think about what all my people went through and it still hurts me on this very day, but I was told that I do have a big heart from a woman who is one of the teachers here.  She even asks about my necklace that I have around my neck and I tell her it’s my mom’s birth stone and I always wear it wherever I go. I tell her that I really love my mom; she made me who I am. When we are about to leave some guy gives us t-shirts and pins that have Sacred Heart High School and some toques from Oskayak High School in Saskatoon. As we drive away, I say it was a great trip to Yorkton to tell some people about the blanket exercise.

Friday, October 13, 2017

October Feels by Raven Cook



All of last week I wasn’t feeling myself due to the loss of a family member. I didn’t think it would hit me as hard, I had a lot on my mind. On Orange Shirt Day after school, we did the Kairos Blanket Exercise for a little group of people; I was okay with that. I hadn’t felt like going, I almost changed my mind last minute, but I felt the need to go. Every time is different, and this one was emotional for me; I didn’t expect that. I’m not a person to open up about my personal problems, I keep to myself a lot, but since the talking circle was small I felt comfortable about opening up about my loss. It was hard. I said things that were hurting my heart.

As the week went by slowly it was time for my family to say goodbye to our loved chapan, my kokum’s mom. We went back home to our reserve. Every time I go back there, I feel depressed. When I go back home it’s usually for a funeral. The reserve depresses me. I sat at the hall with my family; they played some Cree hymns and some gospel music. The next day was the hardest for me, I had to say my goodbyes; it was hard to see my family so sad. When it was all over, I had this empty feeling. I tried to spend as much time as I could with my family until it was time to leave back home to Fort Qu’Appelle. Those two days were so tiring for me, I’m still tired.

On Tuesday of October 10, I woke up to something that made me sad and I was already tired and emotionally drained. I didn’t want to do anything with my day, wanted to sleep and not see anyone. I remembered our class was going to Sacred Heart in Yorkton, so I got up to get ready for it. As we arrived there, I saw my old teachers Linda and Kris; I was happy to see them. I gave Linda a hug; I really needed one so I hugged her three times, almost let out some tears. My day got a little better.

That day I didn’t want to facilitate the Blanket Exercise so when I knew my classmates were going to, I was relieved. Watching them facilitate it, I felt proud of them. Each time we do this, I realize something new. The thing that stood out to me this time was “reserves” because I’ve been there recently. I shared how isolated they’ve made reserves and how poorly the people live. On my reserve there’s nothing really to do. I see most people rely on drugs, alcohol and pills.

After lunch we went into a class room for a little talking time with the teachers of Sacred Heart. We brought up the blog and talked about our blog posts. When my essay “Climbing the Hill” popped up, I knew they would want me to read it. I was shy, but I felt some courage because they cheered me on a bit. I was like, “I got this.” As I read I felt proud of myself because of the stuff I’m going through; I didn’t think I’d be able to do this. When I was done reading I felt good about it. I’m happy I got my essay out there to them. My old teachers Michelle and Linda said they were proud of me, so I feel like I’m doing something right.

 
Now I’m here writing this, thinking about all the stuff I just wrote down. The stuff I’m going through now in my life, I feel, is preparing me for my “journey to knowledge” and is going to help me grow as a person. I may still be sad but I know I can get through it because I’ve been through more stuff and I’ve been strong enough to get out of it all.